Dear Michelle Bachman (R-MN) and Joe Barton (R-TX): CO₂ is indeed toxic. If you don’t believe me, please find out about how, in 1986, the CO₂ disolved in Lake Nyos in Africa rapidly escaped, killing 1,700 people and 3,500 head of livestock.

You people are stupid. Do you realize how idiotic you look to the rest of America? We all know intuitively, and learned in grade-school science class, that CO₂ is exhaled by animals as waste, and it is not good for you in large quantities. Did you see that link above? CO₂ at just 8% of atmospheric gas will cause unconsciousness. None of this takes into account the greenhouse effect of excessive levels of CO₂.

Remember that if CO₂ is not toxic, putting a bag over your head and leaving it there won’t kill you. I’ll wait while the two of you try that.

Dear South African leaders:

WTF?

Sounds like you guys are on your knees in front of your Chinese masters. Losers. Grow some ‘nads and host a real peace conference. Then maybe you’ll be able to admit the real reason you’re not letting HH the Dalai Lama attend, instead of saying that you don’t want the attention taken from an event that’s about a year away.

You guys have totally failed.

Your pal,
Woody

PS: Say hi to my SA friends for me. They’re a lot smarter than you.

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Have you seen this? OMGWTF!

Via Countdown with Keith Olbermann