Here’s a random, rambling list of the stuff I learned on my two-and-a-half week European vacation in England, Scotland and Amsterdam.
- Winter is a fun time to go to Europe, surprisingly. There seemed to be just as many tourists everywhere we went as I would have expected during the summer, except maybe fewer Americans. I doubt many Americans even think of traveling in winter except to go to Vale or Aspen or something.
- Think twice about going to England or Scotland during the Christmas Holidays. Nothing will be open Christmas day, and only the shops with Boxing Day sales will be open the next day. Nope, not even the pubs will be open. You’ll have to settle for hummus and falafel if you want to eat. The UK’s Festive Season (as they call the Holidays), though, is absolutely beautiful and charming in a way no place can be except maybe small-town America.
- If you do, go to England for Christmas, and Edinburgh for New Year’s, or Hogmanay. These people party so hard, they don’t go back to work until January 3rd. We did it backwards, but it was still fun.
- Enjoy the UK colloquialisms. Here we say “eight-thirty”, they say “half eight”. Dates are in reverse, being 25th December instead of December 25th. Europe uses 24-hour time, and both are used in the UK. Most schedules — train, plane, or whatever — use 24-hour time. It’s simple, really, for afternoon/evening times, just subtract 12.
- Most small hotels are what we call Bed and Breakfasts. We got great breakfasts almost every morning as part of our stay.
- Once you’ve been on one, roundabouts are wonderful things.
- Be prepared to encounter a truly multicultural society, unlike anything outside New York City. You will find far more ethnic cuisine than what you would consider “local,” and it is wonderful. However, Thai food seems to be better here in Atlanta.
- South Africans are some the friendliest, nicest tourists you’ll meet when in Europe. Hi Arno and Henry!
- Many British newspapers, even respected ones save for the Times of London, are so sensational they make the National Enquirer look reserved. There are lots of free ones handed out at Tube stations, and I particularly enjoyed The Metro.
- The West Country of England (Wiltshire and Somerset, to be specific) is everything you see on TV, and more. I have fallen deeply, madly in love with it. If I could live anywhere on Earth, it would be Bradford on Avon. A distant second is Marlborough, which seemed more touristy.
- People say that Stonehenge is smaller than it looks in pictures. It is not.
- The landscape around Stonehenge is absolutely filled with henges, stone circles and burial mounds, if you only take a moment to look.
- As fine as Stonehenge is, Avebury henge is better. It has a freakin’ village inside it, for goodness sake!
- There are amazing castles in Scotland. I even saw Castle Anthrax. Seriously.
- The Crown Jewels in the Tower of London are awesome. The guide in the Tower of London was handsome. I recommend it.
- Amsterdam smells funny (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).
- Being a pedestrian in Amsterdam is dangerous. Not only must you watch for trams and oncoming traffic, which generally must stop for pedestrians, you must watch for oncoming bicycles, which do not stop for pedestrians, as my Honey found out the hard way.
- There are actually more bicycles than people in Amsterdam, according to the tour guide on the canal boat.
- Your mindset changes about what is old and what is new. You’ll notice that the first time that you look at a building and say “That must be a new building,” and then see that it was built in 1867 — and you still think it’s a new building.
- Things are really, really close together in the UK. You could drive across the entire country in less than a day. I’ts about the size of some the larger states in the US — California or Texas, for example.
- The rest of Europe is really close, too. A recent article in the Times of London carried the stories of people who lived on the continent, but worked in London, and in some cases their commute time was about the same. Paris is only two hours away by Eurostar through the Channel Tunnel.
- Guinness, however, does not travel — it’s better in Ireland. We didn’t go to Ireland, but our Scottish tour guide on the Loch Lomond tour, and the lovely Irish lass that happened to be on the tour said so. I believe them.
- It rains a lot in mid-winter in the UK. Same for Amsterdam. It’s not heavy rain, just a kind of heavy mist. Our Loch Lomond tour guide told us what his mother said: “In mid-Scotland, if you can’t see the BBC transmitter tower, it’s raining. If you can see it, it’s going to rain.” We did have some gorgeous sunny days, though, but be prepared for biting wind.
- A scarf is an essential article of winter clothing. If, like me, you are from a warmer climate, thermal underwear is a wonderful investment if you’ll be doing lots of walking excursions. Remember to dress in layers. If the wind is blowing and my ears get cold, I get awful headaches, so my earmuffs were also necessary. Consider warm gloves, too.
- The kilt worn in Scotland today is not really an ancient article of clothing. The modern kilt, the féileadh beag, only goes back to the late 1700s, and experienced a revival and its strong association with Scotland in Victorian times. The great kilt, the féileadh mòr, which is a 7 yard or so piece of cloth wrapped, belted, then pinned over the shoulder, is the older kilt. These are rarely worn today.
- Not every family is Scottish and has a tartan, but the kilt sellers will be happy to find one for you anyway. Clan Thomson Camel seemed to be exceedingly popular, probably because it’s tan and people think it goes with most everything in their wardrobe. I found out from a former tailor from Glasgow that kilts for the American market may be altered from the proper colors, especially Black Watch, so go to a reputable kilt maker. I got my Clan Gordon scarf at a Geoffrey (Tailor) in Edinburgh, where they actually weave the cloth.
- Sadly, I did not get a personal answer to the question, “What is worn under the kilt?”
- Consider that London is only slightly south of the latitude of Juneau, Alaska, and you’ll realize why the sun has set at 4:30 in the afternoon. Plan your daytime excursions to make the most of the daylight. Remember that the locals are used to it though, and the city doesn’t close up just because it’s suddenly dark. There are still things to do and experience.
- People party late in Europe. Pubs are where you go for drinks before and after dinner, but party time doesn’t start until 10:00pm at the earliest. The club doors are not even open before then.
- Going to Amsterdam and not doing at least a little partying is like going to the Holy Land and being an atheist.
- Bars in Amsterdam rotate their “happy hour” so one moment a pub will be packed, then suddenly the one down and across the street is packed. Go to the busier one, because that’s where two-for-one beers are to be had.
- Do make reservations in that popular restaurant you saw earlier in the day. They’re usually small, and you might not get a seat otherwise. You can always cancel if you change your mind (but don’t wait until your reservation time to cancel — be courteous and call ahead, otherwise you’re just another example of a stupid tourist).
- I love that almost all restaurants post their menus outside, so you can be sure you’re getting just what you want before you even go in. This is wonderful for traveling vegetarians.
- In the UK, dinner restaurants don’t usually open until 6:30pm. Eight o’clock is seemed to be high-time for dinner, and that may be the hardest time to get a reservation or seat. Even smaller establishments follow the same rules. Kitchens won’t stay open all night, and a pub kitchen may close at 11pm. Lunch establishments may close at 4:30, so there may be a couple hours down-time, but you may be able to get tea at your hotel if you have to have something, or try some street food, especially the “frites” in Amsterdam (french fries with mayonnaise instead of ketchup).
- English food does not suck. Beef and Ale pie at the pub is the most awesomest thing ever, especially with a pint of whatever you like. If, for some reason you still think it sucks, there’s plenty of Indian food. Strangely, not much Chinese.
- No, I did not try haggis. It looked disgusting, but maybe that’s because I knew what it was.
- KFCs outnumber McDonalds in Europe.
- Speaking of pints, a pint is a lot of beer. And it’s cheap.
- As sad as it is in a way, it’s kinda nice that there’s no smoking in pubs in the UK anymore. My clothes weren’t stinky when I got back to the room. Of course, they’d have to ban smoking more than just tobacco in Amsterdam, and I just don’t see that happening any time soon.
- Do not try to quit smoking immediately before vacation, especially if you go to Amsterdam. It was torture, and Americans have never smoked as much as those people.
- Bartenders in the UK freak out if you tip them.
- Gratuity, known as a Service Charge in Europe, is always added to your bill in a restaurant, unless the bill explicitly says “Service Charge Not Included.” But my understanding is, in Amsterdam, gratuity and tax are included by law, and if they say it’s not included, they’re lying. However, feel free to do as the Dutch do and round to the next 5€ if your restaurant service was exceptional.
- I’ve read that the Dutch think it is your privelege to be served by them, and occasionally that seemed true. A nod is not enough to catch the eye of a bartender who’s busy not doing anything. Most of the hotel staff in Amsterdam we interacted with were gracious and charming, except for the kitchen guy who was only a set of heavy-rimmed glasses and the name “Deiter” away from being a pinched euro-trash queen.
- Use your concierge! They really do know where all the good stuff is, and can make sure your activities outside the hotel are special. Richard at the Balmoral in Edinburgh was great!
- Hotel bathrooms are just enough different to make you feel certain you’re not in the US any more. I was surprised that in the UK, there are totally separate faucets for hot and cold in the sink. Mixing faucets might be found only in the bathtub. The do have huge bathtubs, though. Toilets may have the tank built into the wall somehow, with only the bowl and a button to push exposed. Apparently, bidets are a French-only thing, because I didn’t see any. (I love having one at home).
- Just forget about the currency conversion rate. During this trip, $1.00 was worth about £0.50 and about 0.70€. But, something worth $20 here is worth about £20 there (or maybe a little more since sales tax [VAT] is almost always included in the price). Just halve your budget when you get there and don’t annoy your travel mates by trying to do the conversion in your head and complaining at every meal and stop at a souvenir shop about how expensive it is. Don’t forget to keep an eye on the now-smaller budget, though!
- Coins for money less than £5.00 is a good idea. You do end up with a lot of change in your pocket, but I like that better than wads of $1 bills in my wallet. I wish Americans would really take to the dollar coin, but I don’t see that happening until the boneheads at the US Mint discover that it can’t be the same freakin’ size as a quarter and they keep making dollar notes.
- Don’t carry your entire wallet around everywhere. You’ll want to keep it in your front pocket if you heed the many warnings about pickpockets. My wallet has a removable folding bit that would hold one credit card and my driver’s licence, and I could tuck a few notes behind the card.
- Traveler’s checks seem almost pointless in this age of globally linked ATMs. Watch for ATM service charges, but they are usually much better than the fees you’d pay and crappy exchange rate at the Bureau de Change anyway. A small backup amount in traveler’s checks might be a good idea in case you lose your credit card, or your pocket is indeed picked.
- Do as I did and let your bank know you are traveling, so that their fraud protection doesn’t kick in leaving you stuck in a restaurant in Europe. It only takes a moment to pop into your local branch and give them the dates of your travel. If you are going to multiple countries, do tell them which and when you expect to be in each.
- Pack an extra, empty bag just for the souvenirs, and carry it rather than checking it on the return flight so those fragile bits of memorabilia don’t get smashed by baggage handlers. Check up on current customs limits to how much you can bring home. I had almost $400 worth of tchotchkes when all was said and done.
- We didn’t book any real tours, just hopped on short tours if they seemed interesting. Lovers Boat Company in Amsterdam was good, and offered a great new perspective for seeing the city. Our Timberbush day tour from Edinburgh to Glasgow, Loch Lomond, and Stirling Castle was phenomenal, and the guide was spectacular.
- Do not, under any circumstances, use The Original London Sightseeing Tour. The driver and tour guide seemed much more interested in their personal conversation than actually guiding a tour. We got off in disgust, after spending £20 each (yeah, eighty freakin’ dollars for both). We did discover on our own that there were supposedly ways to plug in earphones and hear an automated narrative of the sights, but the “guide” only mentioned something about headphones once, never with an explanation.
- The London Underground just plain rocks. Though the local press complains about station closings, and of heavy rail out of London to other cities having too-high fares and too-low service levels, they obviously don’t know how good they have it. I wish we had rail and light rail service like that here in the US.
- Airport security in Europe is much more hassle-free than in the US, and in general is very smoothly run and efficient. In the US, on the other hand, arrivals to Hartsfield-Atlanta will find that only half of the immigration desks are manned even though 47 international flights have just arrived, must claim their baggage twice due to some bone-headed Customs and Immigration rules and/or inept airport design, must go thru security and have carry-on luggage x-rayed when exiting the terminal, then finally have to figure out which carousel your baggage is really on for your final pickup, because it won’t be on the one that has your arriving flight on the sign.
- When it’s time to leave, pray for bad weather, an airline strike or something just so you can get that extra day.
WHERE WE STAYED
Edinburgh
True five-star elegance in the heart of Edinburgh. Exceedingly professional, but incredibly warm and friendly staff. Highly recommended. Only downside is no free internet or wifi access.
Amsterdam
In one of the lovely canal houses on the Herengracht, convenient to everything. The lobby and breakfast area are modern contemporary, but very warm and inviting. Rooms are more eclectic, but very comfortable. Free wifi.
Bradford on Avon, Wiltshire
Not far from Bath, this guest house is a converted 16th century farm house, with some accommodations going back to the 12th century. The hosts are wonderful, the house gorgeous, and I wish we’d had another night or two there.
Marlborough, Wiltshire
This was a last minute stop because we were a little off-schedule on our tour of the West Country, but the town was charming and the rooms comfortable.
The Philbeach Hotel
30 Philbeach Gardens, London
As we checked out, we discovered that the hotel had been sold and was soon to be converted to flats, closing London’s last gay hotel. Originally two townhouses on Philbeach Gardens, this hotel had a fantastic Thai restaurant inside, and a cozy bar downstairs. It was anything but a five-star hotel, but by the time we left, I felt as if the hotel staff were close friends, if not family. The eclectic cast of characters that either stayed in the hotel or visited the restaurant and bar kept us entertained, and were truly wonderful people. Jimmy and Petros, I will miss you!
MEMORABLE RESTAURANTS
Philbeach Hotel, 30 Philbeach Gardens, London
Inside the now closing Philbeach Hotel, this is one of the best Thai restaurants I’ve had the pleasure of eating in. Only eight tables, but always full of people. Luckily, the sign said there’s another related “Princess” in Chaing Mai, Thailand.
Mama Roma
4/5 Antigua St, Edinburgh
This small restaurant had great food and a wonderful atmosphere.
239 Old Bropton Rd, London
Perfect service, perfect food, wonderful start to our evening. Another highly recommended restaurant.
2 North Parade Passage, Bath
Set aside whatever you think about eating vegetarian, this restaurant is nothing but delicious, innovative dining at its best.
204 Earls Court Road, London
Faster food, but quite tasty. Very chic interior, tasty Portuguese chicken. I didn’t dare try the spicy Peri-Peri sauce, but my lemon and herb grilled chicken wrap was delicious.
Nicholson St, Edinburgh
This is where we had Christmas Dinner. I had a wrap with veggie pakora (Eijah wrap or something like that), and sweetie had a falafel wrap. It tasted awesome, and we went back the next day. Good service.
PUBBING & CLUBBING
We were pretty limited on our clubbing, mostly enjoying quiet pubs. Here’s where we went.
Jimmy’s
Philbeach Hotel, 30 Philbeach Gardens, London
I’m assuming that the bar is closing, but this was “home base” for us when we were in London. Jimmy charmed us, and the bar patrons were wonderful to spend time with. We had planned to do some club-hopping New Year’s Eve, but Petros from the hotel introduced us to such a nice couple that we didn’t want to leave, and rang in the new year with them. Of course, that Glaswegian Jimmy did wear his kilt, and I got a kiss on the cheek from Petros.
The Coleherne
261 Old Brompton Rd, London
Seemed to be a bit of a “local” hangout with regular guys, at least the relatively early hours we were there — which is exactly what I was looking for. Nice atmosphere, and the staff were having fun with the small mid-week crowd. Wish we’d gone there at later hours, because this two-level bar seemed like it was just waiting to get going. Google reveals that this pub was mentioned in Armistead Maupin’s books, and was the stalking grounds of three — count ‘em, three! — serial killers.
The Red Lion
Avebury, Wiltshire
This pub is in the village of Avebury, as is within the ancient henge itself! Way bigger than it seemed, we had a cappucino there to warm us up for the rest of our journey to Marlborough.
The Green Dragon
Marlborough, Wiltshire
Very cozy, the most authentic pub that I set foot in during the entire trip. Beef and Ale pie was awesome, and the pub staff were friendly! Recommended stop if you’re in the area.
New Town
26B Dublin St, Edinburgh
Cozy with regular guys and hot bartenders. Nice start to the evenings, before dinner.
Cafe Habana
22 Greenside Place, Edinburgh
A little modern, next to the Playhouse Theatre. Went there a couple of times before dinner.
CC Blooms
Greenside Place, Edinburgh
A little loud, not quite our kind of place. Headed next door to Cafe Habana after a drink.
Reguliersdwarsstraat 37, Amsterdam
Starting place of our one-night bar hopping adventure.
Reguliersdwarsstraat 36, Amsterdam
My favorite place in Amsterdam. Great DJ mixing wonderful music Sunday night. And the night before, where we met great new friends from South Africa.
Reguliersdwarsstraat 44, Amsterdam
Yep, all the bars were within mere steps of each other. Bar Arc was quite trendy, with a MoCo-Zen vibe. Nice, but I like things a little more down to earth, so we and the guys from South Africa headed back to SOHO.
Others
Since the some of the biggest name clubs were of the late-nite sort, we just stopped by and looked at their closed doors. Cockring and the Eagle Amsterdam were a couple in that city, as well as Brompton’s in London. All looked like fun.
* This article subject to modification as I remember stuff.
